Big Rock.

Do we ever get used to the idea of losing someone? I'm sure that is a question often asked, but sitting here 2 weeks after the loss of a dear friend, I think of my Aunt & how fresh the wound of her loss still is- years passed. I get scared of other loved ones dying. My friend Chris was taken from carbon monoxide poisoning, something we know exists but maybe never think could happen to someone so close. Even though I was still checking my outdated magnet detector this year, I still never thought it would really happen to someone I know & love.
This is the first bit of writing I have done in a long time & certainly since my friend passed away. I intend to remember & document all the stories that I can of the adventures, sessions & day to day life spent with Chris. I just have not known where to really begin, a common feeling these days. I think these 2 people are the people I was closest to that I have lost in my life & I have lost a whole bunch of friends & other people I know. My Mom lost my dad when she was 21, I think- which means that my grandparents lost a son & my 3 uncles & 1 aunt lost a sibling.
I have spent time thinking a lot about death, its not a new thing. I guess with this one though, its made me think a lot about friends- the kind you have where things never change between you. You can always pick back up. The kind of pals you went through some crazy time with, times you are unlikely  to ever have again. I just simply find it near to impossible to accept that someone so alive as Big Rock, is not going to be around anymore. He was an unstoppable force, a hurricane. How does one get through the rest of the time, the day to day shit. I hadn't even seen him in a couple of years but his loss is huge to me. I don't think anyone here, in my day life really understands what it means to me. Of course everyone has lost someone & its no fault of anyone, but who the fuck do you talk to about these things. I went to the funeral, went back to Prague, have saturated myself in the info on Facebook but still feel pretty unsure about the whole thing. Its confusing & hurts so much that one can understand how some people find God.
So now that this step has been taken I guess its time to start the memories, are they to "out of control" to even document? Probably, but it was fun times.... the funniest.....

4 more years!

I am pretty consumed with the upcoming election, its on Tuesday, today is Sunday.
It is safe to say that with all the shit that is hitting the fan back home, I am an anxiety ridden mess. What would Romney's America look like? Certainly not a place I would want to go home to. I avoided it during the George Bush Jr nightmare. Yikes I say. Since I live in Scotland & I have failed to make it to the Democrats Abroad meetings to actually meet some other Americans, I feel pretty isolated.
I usually feel pretty isolated anyways, having 2 very long term friendships meltdown this last summer isn't really helping, nor is the feeling that Im being totally taken advantage of at work. I have left the city 2 times in 2012. I am about to apply for my Citizenship & I feel more trapped & stuck than ever before. Shit feels grim, however - 1 cool thing has happend on a superficial level. I seem to be being stalked by a group of hairdressers at a Salon near my job. They love my hair, my fringe one would say here instead of bangs & they want to colour / cut / mess around with it.
I have realised ( recently ) that I need constant 
positive reinforcement for everything. I require being in a position to do well & I must be told I am doing so- this applies to everything....

Is it that Im a Gemini, or a Monkey... or an only child? Why? All I know is that it aint happening here apart from these kooky hair dressers! My dear Hubs is perhaps a little to close to me to see how shit actually makes me feel (locally), and of course he is way more optimistic about the future & how to "get there"- not to mention he has the band to get him outta here a few times a year.
I have a few really good ideas & goals but seem to have no one to back me up, where is my cheerleader, my motivational speaker?

Well I have 4 days off work, a roof over my head & enough supplies. Its not a hurricane & I don't have a cold... I got a brand new clipboard & Im gonna get some shit done! Wish me luck, more steps forward than back & maybe I can get my shit together long enough to update the world on my accomplishments....
And seriously folks, 4 more years!

Career Choices

Not posted on this one forever, not known exactly where to begin- however just when I though British TV could not possibly redeem itself, Say Anything was on tonight. 

“I've thought about this quite a bit, sir, and I'd have to say considering what's waiting out there for me, I don't want to sell anything,buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or... process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought or processed, you know, as a career.”

― Lloyd Dobler

That pretty much sums it up for me......

Is this summer?

I don't even know where to begin with this blog anymore- continue I should say. I'm pretty sick of feeling sorry for myself about my living situation. I totally do not hate it here but I want to go home- I love my flat right now, appreciate the time I seem to somehow make to "make" something. I have a "studio" space- sort of. I have all my own furniture instead of a bunch of stuff that came with the flat. I have a few more friends here now, I feel totally confident in my ability to do so much shit but still can't find the time or energy to do most of it. Someone should sponsor me.
I do not bitch about my hair anymore now that I have a mullet- going on 7 months now.
I want to live in BOTH places, why is that so hard for some....immigration, cash- why can't they just trust that we aren't going to steal, drain public funds or sit around on our lazy asses. We are pretty hard working creative smart folks & can contribute so much to some community- although I do not feel that in this one - still - and prefer to stay in my house than go outside into Leith (walk).

Still totally unable to deal with the loss of my Aunt, finding it even harder now that more time has passed to reach out to her loved ones.

I became self employed & WANT to help people locally, but the people I think need help usually cannot afford it.. frustration there. Its pretty cheap too.

I still do the hours in the cafe & do enjoy that as it is currently a project moving forward.
I think I need to drink less coffee (which really makes me pissed off). Getting headaches & gonna see how it goes the rest of this week with:
less coffee
less alcohol- been drinking more than usual
less drugs- not that I take any anyway ( really)
more creativity
more rest
intensive work weekend- I shall then re-evaluate headache situation.

I AM pumped about some side projects with friends that require help, I am gonna re-do the website. Today I made a box.

Have had 2 very weird relationship breakdowns back home, both of which I feel totally unable to address although it is CONSTANTLY on my mind, weighing heavily on my heart.

Oats

Call my GP to try & make my follow up appointment which they would'nt let me just make when the Doctor told me to do it- too far in advance- 10 days?
They don't have anything with my Doctor for weeks, nothing with any of the female Doctors for weeks & I was informed none of the Doctors have anything coming up, by a frantic unpleasant sighing woman on the other end if the phone.
I feel like the weird side cramp might be coming back, even after just finishing a 10 day course of antibiotics, decide I should call Chalmers Sexual Health Clinic to see about an appointment. I am actually informed by the condescending man on the phone that appointments can only be made on a Wednesday - Im calling on Friday. What should one do if they have an emergency? Speak to the nurse & she will decide, Ok so can I please speak to the nurse?
No, you need to phone back after 1pm to speak to the nurse, well, Im at work,its 10am & I am phoning NOW when I have the time. Not much luck there for me, no appointments made.

Yep, might sound like Im a total ingrate but Im not, I expect the person on the other end of the phone to be nice to me!!! I have dealt with a lot of bitchy redneck incompetent nurses in the United States but somehow, all of them combined- in health centres for people living below the poverty level, have all been more polite than the people I have had to deal with here when trying to get basic medical needs taken care of.
So this is just the latest of my annoyances. Do natives go through this or do I feel this way since Im American & have different standards? Whatever, all I really want is to encounter someone that likes Americans, or maybe someone that can just be normal about the fact that Im an American.
Feeling totally over saturated (again) in British culture. I want to do a study & go live in England to see if it is different? Is is Scotland? Don't know, need to vent/rant somewhere, yikes if you actually read this. Its not that bad here, just builds up & Im a little sensitive after reading an article talking about how Americans don't understand the concept of an "oatcake"- guess what? An oatcake is not a fucking cracker or a cookie OR a cake! Americans eat oats too- its called porridge, and In America we call it OATMEAL!

Lucky Stars

I have felt like shit for the past 2 1/2 months & it turns out to be a pelvic infection!!! Not entirely sure how that went un-detected considering the amount of times I went to the Doctors, both the GP & the lady doctors.
Glad Im feeling better now & want to get blogging again, for this blog & my view on FOOD of course! This has really made me thank my lucky stars again that Im in good health cos it was pretty much ruining my life to be all cramped up ETC!
Thank you Lucky Stars- you know who you are!

Mom is here!!! She finally made it, the fundraising worked! So thankful to everyone that contributed! Some people may wonder how we can handle having Mom here for 2 1/2 months, its easy for us as she is part of our team. Most of the time its just the 2 of us in our world- which is the best thing ever, but its good to have someone else around that is on the level. So this is where the holidays begin, we will move onto birthdays after & planning for the future! Lots to do! The house feels very festive, alive & warm! Happy December to everyone, enjoy the time with your loved ones even if you are the kind of person that wonders how one can spend such a long time with their parent!
meiw

A photo my Mom sent me of home.

T-day eve

What does Thanksgiving mean? I get that a lot over here, it makes me wonder if Brits ( as Im calling them these days!) actually think that we Americans all sit around & celebrate killing the natives. Yes, I do understand that out there, we have many, many messed up people that do not have their priorities or Holidays straight- but I think we have more people that do have it straight.
On this Thanksgiving eve as I sit here, I feel pretty resentful of things- which is wrong, its the opposite of feeling "thankful". Some things have been unsettling for weeks, feeling like Im alone in a sea of uncommunicative feeling stuffers who want nothing more than to have cryptic IJT= inside joke talk at my expense!
It might be our obsession with the Crime Investigation Network but I feel like I don't laugh that much- or is it just that no one is funny?
I guess its approaching the 6 month mark from the last time we were in the States, and I know- the festive period is hard for everyone. But I usually LOVE IT, and this year I feel so disconnected from almost everyone I know here!
Well now marks the moment when I turn my frown upside down! Its almost that mystical day when its cold & crisp outside but still orange, yellow & red! Turkeys, or TOfurkeys in our house beware! I will remember fondly my Thanksgiving in New Mexico last year making the sauce, meatballs & stuffing with my Aunt Diane. I remember fondly many Thanksgivings making the rounds, I think my Mom & I hit 4 families in 1 day 1 year. Turkey legs at my Moms with Ricky (although he didn't eat turkey) when we first discovered Rock of Love & watched 5 episodes in a row.. . .
Making stove top stuffing with Denise in Sparky's kitchen, going to Thanksgiving night parties when all the family time was over & drinking schnapps- the only thing left! Blindeye Thanksgiving potluck style bar times. . Thanksgiving beer drinking, leftovers & much more incriminating evidence!
Vodafone may have stolen our ability to have a Thanksgiving party this year, my head cold has gotten in the way & we cant afford to take work off anyway, but I will take comfort in the thought that someday I will be back amongst my people & I wont have to explain myself all the time, my strange American traditions & what they mean. . . . . .

Beached

Have not had that much time to write lately, we got the ticket though for those of you that wonder! Thanks Everyone!

As usual the only time I feel like blogging my view is when Im feeling down. . . . Its only really been this week & its only half way through the week just now. The weather here totally sucks, its getting dark about 3pm & it is really cold until you start walking anywhere & then you totally over heat. I walk a lot more now that we got rid of our bus passes which were only really needed for our old jobs.
I sorta feel like people are freaking out, or freaking out on us or taking it out on us? Perhaps we are just big butt-faces angering our friends & family? Regardless though, I feel like Im the only person in Scotland that can or wants to communicate. Slightly over dramatic, I know but still. Noticing a bit more cultural differences at this exact time!
Today after starting several different projects in order to avoid learning how to do the one daunting project I NEED to do I decided to go out. Walked uptown, met the Hubs, went a few places including back to "lower Leith", got some veg & walked home. Got into my jammies & made dinner only to realise it was 4:30 in the afternoon! I thought it must have been at least 7pm, its currently almost 9 & I feel like Im up late. I feel like a beached whale in a pink robe!

On another note, I have no desire to go to any bar or pub or club in this city & every time I put music on at work someone I work with complains. Where TF am I?

Izzo/White Holiday Season Fund Drive!

This is a brief history or explanation of why I am asking for $10 donations to help purchase a plane ticket for my Mother to come & be here for Christmas 2011.

The simple fact is the last several times we have spent time with my Mom it has been during high stress emergency situations. About 3 months after I moved to Edinburgh almost 3 1/2 years ago my family went into what I would describe as a total crisis with the diagnosis of my Aunt Diane's malignant brain tumour. This was especially difficult to digest as Diane's husband Marco had just had a kidney transplant & the couple were already struggling to deal with that situation.
Diane & Marco lived in New Mexico & with some help from the rest of family Ricky & I were able to facilitate my Mom getting & staying out there for a few months to help out. Here is a link which might give you some more info on Diane.

http://leisureblogs.chicagotribune.com/turn_it_up/2008/11/a-big-brain-ben.html

Less than 1 year later we got the call that my Grandfather was very ill & we needed to get to the States asap. My Mom got up to Chicago & kicked into care taking mode & we searched for tickets,cash & time off work. It was then that the credit card came into the picture & with some help from Ricky's family here we were both able to go to Chicago. This 2 week period was spent helping out my Mom & Uncle Anthony manage Grandpa's care & trying to spend as much time with him as possible. I had not seen him for more than a couple hours in about 5 years.Here is a link to some of the work my Grampa did as a film editor.

www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=ytH1G0hzi-U

It was during this trip that I found out my Grandfather on my Dad's side of the family was also ill & didn't have long. We got up to Wisconsin to see them, it had been about 15 years since I had seen them, it was magical.
Shortly after our return to Edinburgh Grampa Tony passed away, We were so grateful of the time spent in Chicago helping out. Ricky made eggs for Grampa every day & it was so important that Ricky got to know him & vice versa. My Grandpa Don passed away later in the year also.

The next year was spent trying to keep tabs on Diane & Marco's health, my Mom's well being/her own health issues & her return to Bloomington after the trauma of losing her father. It was a lot harder to settle here than I expected & combined with all this & the pressure & expense of gaining residency we were pretty much frazzled out. After finally getting our passports back from the home office at the end of last summer it became very clear to me that Diane was not doing well & I needed to see her. Our original plan was to try & visit my Mom for her 50th birthday in Bloomington but I knew deep down that I needed to get to New Mexico that Fall or it might be too late to see Diane. I am so glad I followed my instinct. I was able to secure my plane ticket through my previous job as both of our Christmas bonuses & off I went. The time I got to spend with Diane was priceless to me. It was really hard to see them going through so much (Marco back on Dialysis & Diane in extreme chronic pain) & know that I couldn't stay & help, I tried as much as I could while I was out there but I had to get home, back to work as the festive season was approaching.
I miraculously got home & was able to get my Mom a ticket here for her 50th birthday (thank you tax return) in February.
2 days after my Mom got to Scotland her little sister, my aunt Diane went in for her 2nd surgery to remove a growth on her brain. Although we were able to briefly speak to her afterwards, she did not recover. The cancer had spread & it was only a matter of time, we were totally unable to get back to the States. My Mom & Ricky & I spent both of their birthdays here in Edinburgh through Diane's last days. During this time we were virtually totally unable to take time off of work & the whole thing was extremely stressful & sad.

The next occasion for us seeing my Mom was to get to the States in May for the Diane Izzo Memorial Event which we needed to attend apart from obvious reasons, to hopefully get some closure,we also needed to get Boo ( my grandmother ) up to Chicago since she was alone in Bloomington when Diane passed.
This entire trip was funded through credit & although we did not know this at the time, unforeseen circumstances back here made it impossible for us to continue or full time employment when we returned to Edinburgh leaving us in a pretty bad financial situation this past summer.
This pretty much sums up what I/ we have been going through since I moved here, although I totally understand why it might seem cheeky for me to be asking for your money to help my Mom come here for a (fingers crossed) genuine holiday I really feel that this is becoming a valid way to achieve goals- look at Kickstarter.com. Lets face it, how hard is it right now to save? We are perpetually in the negative & my Mom is on a fixed disability income. Boo has contributed a good amount towards this fund but we still need to raise around $300- today about £190. I am currently working on a plan to create a "Vacation funder" but in the mean time, please kick in $10 or whatever you can to help us out. I know most of you would be happy to buy us a beer if we saw you on a night out so why not do this instead-its far more meaningful to us. I am more than happy to give you the $10 back when you go on Holiday or buy YOU a beer when I see you, I just can't do it all at once!

The paypal for this is mizzowhite@gmail.com & if you don't have a paypal set up I will send you the bank account details-- Just email me! If you live locally in Bloomington or in the States & you would like to send a cheque or money order please contact lizizzo@yahoo.com for the address. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts! Michelle, Ricky & Elizabeth. . . .

Pissed off Puppy!

Try as I might I cannot get this blog up to anything positive.. Its so lame! Im not really a totally unhappy person who hates the place she lives in but I think it must appear that way- sorry folks! My food blog is way more positive! The thing that reminded me of this fact was that Im currently pissed off & thought of blogging? Why!!?

I decided to try & search for an image which describes my mood- I tried "pissed off puppies" & came up with this-although I don't think if myself as a puppy, this one is making a fitting face and for some reason its got a photo of Jack Black attached to it. I used to be in love with Jack Black until I met my husband, well it fizzled out a bit before that but still, I thought I might have a chance. In spite of him being already involved with someone & me living a drunken delusional life in the Czech Republic I still thought I had a chance. . . . . .
Jack Black is really funny, someday when Im really bored I will scan some of my Jack Black artwork in & show you. The D got me through some pretty dark times, in Bloomington & in Prague. . . .Good times too x x x Thank you Jack Black, I feel a lot better now!

I feel like shit.

I have been feeling really down the last 2 days & there is no real reason for it- its not that time off month or anything like that. I feel so very uninspired by Edinburgh- how is this possible? I literally feel as if I am missing something that other people see. I think its beautiful here and all that but try as I might, most days I cant see past the gray buildings, the shoppers & the general suit vibe. I don't mean to or want to sound like a total ingrate ( even though I do) as I am very lucky in a lot of ways, I just feel like Im missing something.

I stopped looking for "something" here awhile ago & things have improved a lot but I still get the odd day where I get really pissed off or sad etc. Is it just that I have failed to really become friends with any one group of people or is it that they stopped asking forever ago as we were perpetually "working" & "broke" at the same time?

I come from a really different place from most people I know here & I am starting to wonder if that is the problem? When I lived in Prague we all had that fact in common so I suppose it was much easier to make friends. Everyone was from someplace else & everyone thought Prague was really great so we all liked to do the same type of things. Like drink Czech beer. Maybe Prague ruined Edinburgh for me?

Or maybe Im just getting old? Or maybe for once all the "older" people I try to hang out with are actually acting old and responsible as opposed to acting really irresponsible.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Molly Shimer

I had some pretty crazy dreams this morning -all Bloomington based,all downtown in places that don't really exist anymore. This prompted me to search the online newspaper in Bloomington for a few names of friends who have passed away. Young people that died WAY to early, Molly & Cara to be exact, but I stumbled on lots more names of folks I have not thought about in a long time.
Cara & I were really good friends when we were younger but not in too much contact at the time of her death. RIP Cara x x x

Molly & I were good friends through a very troubling time in both of our teenage years. Molly was a couple years older than me, she was 18 at the time of her death,but going back a few years... We were both in a considerable amount of trouble but nothing that serious, lets say truancy was a big part of it & running away from home-but we weren't bad kids. (both gemini)
The short version of what happen is that Molly & I were 2 girls from Monroe County sent to a Rehabilitation Center outside of Muncie In, called Interventions. No one from Monroe Co had ever come out of that program successfully & no one came out successfully the entire 8 months I was in there-apart from me. Molly & I got into loads of trouble together & had some really great times. Being from the same town we had an advantage that no one else in there had. We were able to make plans & have dreams together of what would happen when & if we ever got out of there.... Both of our fathers where deceased & both of our Mothers collected a social security cheque due to that situation. Although I am unclear of the circumstances regarding Molly's cheque, I know that my own was re-routed to Monroe County to help pay for this "treatment" I was supposed to be getting-in spite of my Mother still needing to pay for all my personal items & keep a roof over her head so I had someplace to return too, drive 5 hours to visit me to participate in counselling.
During the first 6 months of being at Interventions myself & other girls (including Molly) complained of a strange rash that had covered our bodies accompanied by unbearable itching. This was casually brushed off as being " all in our heads" by the nurse & counsellors.
On my 6 month review I was brought back to Bloomington for a brief court date where I was able to see my public defender. I showed him the rashes & told him about what was going on & he immediately put pressure on Interventions to get me to a doctor which they did promptly. When I saw the Doctor he took 1 look at my HAND & established that I had Scabies!
For 6 months we had been living with Scabies & no one believed us that anything was even wrong! Somehow I managed to get myself out of that place, I don't thing I was "rehabilitated" since I don't believe that at that time in my life I needed it. Yes, we put our mothers through hell, yes, we should have gone to school-but we didn't. We didn't deserve what we got & I know Molly didn't deserve the 10 months she got in that place. Molly got kicked out of Interventions, In my opinion far worse off than when she went in. She was still a great person but her levels of chemical abuse were a lot higher & the habits she picked up in that place stayed with her till the end. I still saw Molly on a regular basis but did avoid spending time with her due to the company she kept. Monroe County did fail her, I would say it failed me too-but I turned out Ok. I managed to somehow, stay out of trouble in spite of still being a "trouble maker" & somehow got out of Indiana. I wonder what the system has in place in Monroe County now to deal with such young ladies? Has it improved? I write this for Molly in part as it was 15 years ago this week some asshole drove 7 miles the wrong way down the highway with Molly in the passenger seat.RIP Molly.
I also write it though as this morning when I checked my email my Mom had written saying that she got a letter from the sheriffs court stating they still want the "parental reimbursement" money from the couple of months they didn't steal my social security cheque during that 8 month period. They will not give up on this in spite of countless appearances & letters stating that not only do we not have the money to pay it but it is completely inappropriate to ask for money from us. The court system at that time in Monroe County failed to place us someplace safe & as far as Im concerned they were partially responsible for Molly's death & that makes me sad. I love Bloomington but Monroe County will not be getting 1 penny of money from us for parental reimbursement for a near criminal act of " Juvenile Rehabilitation".

reflective reflections

Since today is 9/11 I thought I might flash back to where I was when the shit hit the fan... I woke up in Denise & Al's old apartment at the house on Jackson street above Skeet's house. I can't remember if they were there or not. We (Im thinking me & Skeet) had been partying pretty heavily the night before & my ex-boyfriend Thomas called from the Pizzeria around 10am to say that there had been some sort of terrorist attack & Indiana may be a target. I had no idea what he was talking about but I seem to remember getting up & going downstairs to check the t.v. & then I remember going downtown to the Pizzeria to watch what was happening from there. I can't remember why there was this thought Indiana would be a target. To be honest I really can't remember much else about the day except watching the same footage over & over... Im not really sure what to say, clearly shit did not go down ( no pun intended ) the way they say it did & that is disturbing. There are a million 9/11 shows on this weekend & after Ricky fell asleep during "Gone with the Wind" I decided to watch one. I caught the end of a show that was about heros of 9/11, 2 guys that got all these people out of lifts & down stairs etc but both didn't make it themselves. Ricky woke up & we tried to watch a show about children of 9/11 victims but I had to turn it off. It was too f*****g sad (for lack of a better word) for my current hungover state & Ricky was in danger of getting really angry. At the risk of sounding totally shallow, it was not cool-it does not make sense. My heart goes out to everyone that lost someone...Fuck George Bush & the horse he rode in on!

Another new day.

Finding that moving on feels good... Today I moved on from my fundraising job-only because I had too, for me. Lots of other reasons there, none of which are really that negative. I think that the friends I made there I shall keep for a long time. I know the skills I developed there will travel with me to the next step. The important thing is taking the next step. Im not in a place where I can feel stuck. I hope to continue with employment aimed towards helping others & I think I could do more.


So long for now "FUNdraising"!

More adventure awaits me & I embrace it ! ! !

Diane Moon!

Thinking this might be my next tattoo...for my Aunt,she would have found it pretty hysterical ...now what location?

A weekend alone.

Cant seem to get a view out!

Missing a smaller community, one I can see healthy things in..

Homesick again.

Tuesday thoughts!

Right, so a few thoughts on my new job.... or rather the folks Im trying to stop in the street, keeping in mind that I used to be an expert at dodging the fundraisers! Straight up, I was a pro- I don't think I even realised they don't want cash till I got this job!

1) Pretending we are not there only makes you look REALLY silly. The looking straight ahead & ignoring us method makes you look like such an unhappy person. Its a shame you wont just stop & have a chat, worse case scenario is that you DO NOT sign up, however the usual outcome of that is still walking away with a smile on your face.

2) Telling us in passing that you already donate to charity only makes you feel better for a few seconds.. It does very little for me.

3) Yelling at us that "we are out here everyday" also makes you look like an unhappy person, if you paid attention you might realise that its not "us", its a different charity- "we" don't pick our spots, hence me going to Bathgate tomorrow, for the 3rd time in a week and a half.

4) "No thank you" is a really, REALLY bizarre thing to say to a fundraiser- I might understand if I tried to offer you mouldy cookies?!

5) Hissing is not cool unless you are Gollum, so don't do it.

6) "Im busy" is a truly lame thing to say-everyone is busy, come up with something just slightly more truthful, perhaps try something like..." Im shopping right now, I have 6 shopping bags & they are all really heavy. I haven't quite spent all my money but Im not going to share it at all, I have a fake tan & you look dirty".

That is all that comes to mind. About half of the time I know I can do my job & the other half human kind really gets me down.. Its been 10 days now & I want to fire bomb the human population on slightly less than I did in my previous job. The upside is that when someone is cool, when I have done my job well, I feel good & a little more sunshine is let in.

To Be continued...

sunburn part 1

Well I wont be cutting my fringe (bangs) till my super cool sunburn goes away. Its not from my fringe but from my purple hat. Lame.

Kinda bummed today, Didn't get a sign up again & that makes me feel bad. Although I did good last week on the 2 days I worked I have done bad this week so far. Tomorrow is Wednesday though & that feels better. We will be on the royal mile too which is a first!

Thankful for the awesomeness of my Hubs, he is making lots o tasty food for me & holding down the chores.

Now if my forehead would stop burning...

NEW JOB!!

I got my new job! I am a charity fundraiser, currently fundraising for deaf children in the UK! I am that person on the street that people (including myself) are trying to avoid. I got hissed at yesterday in a Gollum like way by the very first person I approached!

I dont't really have a hard time approaching people, Im pretty chatty in general & used to "spare change" a lot when I was way way younger,for beer money. I consider myself to be experienced more or less.

Today was my 2nd day & Im now starting to get "behind" the charity, not that I wasn't before but I think I was pretty bombarded with facts & statistics from the training. Now I am hungry for more info & also eager to start learning sign language, not sure when I will have time though what with my new food blog! Just kinda kidding, I feel as if I need to know more in order to do my job better, and more honestly too.

The other thing that happen today is that I figured out that most of these people DO have time, almost all of them are just shopping or walking up & down the High street. Most of the people with loads of shopping bags that look all fancy pants that "don't have time" are full of it, they are the ones I think I have the hardest time approaching. I need to make it my goal to get there, but times are still young & I have done well so far so I cant complain. My point is that I had a lot of ideas about the charity fundraisers & a whole lot of them are wrong!

So next time, at least stop & listen- they might just win you over, and for real-they are not asking for that much & they are legit!