Right, so a few thoughts on my new job.... or rather the folks Im trying to stop in the street, keeping in mind that I used to be an expert at dodging the fundraisers! Straight up, I was a pro- I don't think I even realised they don't want cash till I got this job!
1) Pretending we are not there only makes you look REALLY silly. The looking straight ahead & ignoring us method makes you look like such an unhappy person. Its a shame you wont just stop & have a chat, worse case scenario is that you DO NOT sign up, however the usual outcome of that is still walking away with a smile on your face.
2) Telling us in passing that you already donate to charity only makes you feel better for a few seconds.. It does very little for me.
3) Yelling at us that "we are out here everyday" also makes you look like an unhappy person, if you paid attention you might realise that its not "us", its a different charity- "we" don't pick our spots, hence me going to Bathgate tomorrow, for the 3rd time in a week and a half.
4) "No thank you" is a really, REALLY bizarre thing to say to a fundraiser- I might understand if I tried to offer you mouldy cookies?!
5) Hissing is not cool unless you are Gollum, so don't do it.
6) "Im busy" is a truly lame thing to say-everyone is busy, come up with something just slightly more truthful, perhaps try something like..." Im shopping right now, I have 6 shopping bags & they are all really heavy. I haven't quite spent all my money but Im not going to share it at all, I have a fake tan & you look dirty".
That is all that comes to mind. About half of the time I know I can do my job & the other half human kind really gets me down.. Its been 10 days now & I want to fire bomb the human population on slightly less than I did in my previous job. The upside is that when someone is cool, when I have done my job well, I feel good & a little more sunshine is let in.
To Be continued...
