Molly Shimer

I had some pretty crazy dreams this morning -all Bloomington based,all downtown in places that don't really exist anymore. This prompted me to search the online newspaper in Bloomington for a few names of friends who have passed away. Young people that died WAY to early, Molly & Cara to be exact, but I stumbled on lots more names of folks I have not thought about in a long time.
Cara & I were really good friends when we were younger but not in too much contact at the time of her death. RIP Cara x x x

Molly & I were good friends through a very troubling time in both of our teenage years. Molly was a couple years older than me, she was 18 at the time of her death,but going back a few years... We were both in a considerable amount of trouble but nothing that serious, lets say truancy was a big part of it & running away from home-but we weren't bad kids. (both gemini)
The short version of what happen is that Molly & I were 2 girls from Monroe County sent to a Rehabilitation Center outside of Muncie In, called Interventions. No one from Monroe Co had ever come out of that program successfully & no one came out successfully the entire 8 months I was in there-apart from me. Molly & I got into loads of trouble together & had some really great times. Being from the same town we had an advantage that no one else in there had. We were able to make plans & have dreams together of what would happen when & if we ever got out of there.... Both of our fathers where deceased & both of our Mothers collected a social security cheque due to that situation. Although I am unclear of the circumstances regarding Molly's cheque, I know that my own was re-routed to Monroe County to help pay for this "treatment" I was supposed to be getting-in spite of my Mother still needing to pay for all my personal items & keep a roof over her head so I had someplace to return too, drive 5 hours to visit me to participate in counselling.
During the first 6 months of being at Interventions myself & other girls (including Molly) complained of a strange rash that had covered our bodies accompanied by unbearable itching. This was casually brushed off as being " all in our heads" by the nurse & counsellors.
On my 6 month review I was brought back to Bloomington for a brief court date where I was able to see my public defender. I showed him the rashes & told him about what was going on & he immediately put pressure on Interventions to get me to a doctor which they did promptly. When I saw the Doctor he took 1 look at my HAND & established that I had Scabies!
For 6 months we had been living with Scabies & no one believed us that anything was even wrong! Somehow I managed to get myself out of that place, I don't thing I was "rehabilitated" since I don't believe that at that time in my life I needed it. Yes, we put our mothers through hell, yes, we should have gone to school-but we didn't. We didn't deserve what we got & I know Molly didn't deserve the 10 months she got in that place. Molly got kicked out of Interventions, In my opinion far worse off than when she went in. She was still a great person but her levels of chemical abuse were a lot higher & the habits she picked up in that place stayed with her till the end. I still saw Molly on a regular basis but did avoid spending time with her due to the company she kept. Monroe County did fail her, I would say it failed me too-but I turned out Ok. I managed to somehow, stay out of trouble in spite of still being a "trouble maker" & somehow got out of Indiana. I wonder what the system has in place in Monroe County now to deal with such young ladies? Has it improved? I write this for Molly in part as it was 15 years ago this week some asshole drove 7 miles the wrong way down the highway with Molly in the passenger seat.RIP Molly.
I also write it though as this morning when I checked my email my Mom had written saying that she got a letter from the sheriffs court stating they still want the "parental reimbursement" money from the couple of months they didn't steal my social security cheque during that 8 month period. They will not give up on this in spite of countless appearances & letters stating that not only do we not have the money to pay it but it is completely inappropriate to ask for money from us. The court system at that time in Monroe County failed to place us someplace safe & as far as Im concerned they were partially responsible for Molly's death & that makes me sad. I love Bloomington but Monroe County will not be getting 1 penny of money from us for parental reimbursement for a near criminal act of " Juvenile Rehabilitation".

reflective reflections

Since today is 9/11 I thought I might flash back to where I was when the shit hit the fan... I woke up in Denise & Al's old apartment at the house on Jackson street above Skeet's house. I can't remember if they were there or not. We (Im thinking me & Skeet) had been partying pretty heavily the night before & my ex-boyfriend Thomas called from the Pizzeria around 10am to say that there had been some sort of terrorist attack & Indiana may be a target. I had no idea what he was talking about but I seem to remember getting up & going downstairs to check the t.v. & then I remember going downtown to the Pizzeria to watch what was happening from there. I can't remember why there was this thought Indiana would be a target. To be honest I really can't remember much else about the day except watching the same footage over & over... Im not really sure what to say, clearly shit did not go down ( no pun intended ) the way they say it did & that is disturbing. There are a million 9/11 shows on this weekend & after Ricky fell asleep during "Gone with the Wind" I decided to watch one. I caught the end of a show that was about heros of 9/11, 2 guys that got all these people out of lifts & down stairs etc but both didn't make it themselves. Ricky woke up & we tried to watch a show about children of 9/11 victims but I had to turn it off. It was too f*****g sad (for lack of a better word) for my current hungover state & Ricky was in danger of getting really angry. At the risk of sounding totally shallow, it was not cool-it does not make sense. My heart goes out to everyone that lost someone...Fuck George Bush & the horse he rode in on!