happy new year.

I feel pretty depressed after the Holiday season of 2010...It is the first year I just didn't feel like I got into it-I didn't have the time.. Nothing has really improved afterwards either.
Somehow I guess I expected to get through it without feeling like I might have to check myself in to a hospital but I was wrong.

Apart from the usual work related boredom I have a pretty intense and sincere hatred and rage for pretty much everyone I deal with these days.. My managerial skills seem to have not returned with me from my Nov/Dec trip to America. I could care less to be exact. But don't mind that,I feel better and brighter things in store within my job so I take comfort in that and will look forward to new projects.

My most recent and nerve racking annoyance is that today I finally had more than a few minutes to look at our finances and this led to phone calls..I, as an American am not on the electoral roll thing here in the good old UK which makes it very difficult to be approved for any kind of credit card or loan or anything like that. I do however have Residency and a note on my credit report that explains I'm a US citizen and cant vote ( yet) etc etc-which in theory should be enough if one was dealing with an actual person instead of a computer!

However when speaking to several different customer service people related to the various financial institutions I contacted today I was not able to get any sort of advice or even acknowledgement that they could help me apply for anything! I'm sure this does not even make sense? I guess to sum up my view for today- in my world here in the UK I don't feel like there is anyone to help me make decisions about anything. Somehow the people on the phones have never spoken to anyone in my situation, I don't know anyone in my situation and no one I know seems to know anyone in my situation. I feel so alone sometimes here its unreal, as in I cant believe this is happening to me..I would not change it though- my husband who is my best friend is here and my reason for being here, but really-is there anyone out there that can answer any number of the questions and concerns I have?? All the people I might ask questions to normally don't live here,haven't lived here and dealt with this stuff.

Do I really have to try again to join the Internet forum for Americans living in the UK? Please say it ain't so,they are so "forumy" and I am so not-I have tried,believe me!

So, Its another rare day off almost past and virtually no progress has been made towards sanity or relaxation..more tears shed and more feelings of isolation from the British public,more telephone scripts read to me from India... The doctors office doesn't even tell you when it reopens on the voicemail!!!
The snow shut everything down, Christmas and then Newyear shut everything else down yet somehow we,the little people are still expected to get to work and work through the entire Holiday season and beyond!!
It seems to be just a little bit more than I can take today, or yesterday and most likely tomorrow.
But I guess I will try again cos I cant give up yet, Ricky made peanut butter cookies and with the discovery that Betty Crocker sells vegan fudge frosting at tesco things might just be looking up?