This is the first bit of writing I have done in a long time & certainly since my friend passed away. I intend to remember & document all the stories that I can of the adventures, sessions & day to day life spent with Chris. I just have not known where to really begin, a common feeling these days. I think these 2 people are the people I was closest to that I have lost in my life & I have lost a whole bunch of friends & other people I know. My Mom lost my dad when she was 21, I think- which means that my grandparents lost a son & my 3 uncles & 1 aunt lost a sibling.
I have spent time thinking a lot about death, its not a new thing. I guess with this one though, its made me think a lot about friends- the kind you have where things never change between you. You can always pick back up. The kind of pals you went through some crazy time with, times you are unlikely to ever have again. I just simply find it near to impossible to accept that someone so alive as Big Rock, is not going to be around anymore. He was an unstoppable force, a hurricane. How does one get through the rest of the time, the day to day shit. I hadn't even seen him in a couple of years but his loss is huge to me. I don't think anyone here, in my day life really understands what it means to me. Of course everyone has lost someone & its no fault of anyone, but who the fuck do you talk to about these things. I went to the funeral, went back to Prague, have saturated myself in the info on Facebook but still feel pretty unsure about the whole thing. Its confusing & hurts so much that one can understand how some people find God.
So now that this step has been taken I guess its time to start the memories, are they to "out of control" to even document? Probably, but it was fun times.... the funniest.....