this time of year

It seems to be fall here in Scotland, i keep thinking that it must be like this back home but i keep getting reminded that it is hot there still. i feel like i have missed a lot this year,funerals, weddings, graduations,new babies and so on... its really getting to me at the moment.the change in the weather always makes me homesick. i am always homesick actually, it really does not take much to bring that out.

right now im wondering if i will ever feel the way i used to feel,like i belonged some place.something about it here just does not make me feel like i fit in. I'm not sure if it was the fact that i was drunk when i lived in the Czech republic or what but i don't remember feeling like this.

how long does it take to adjust anyway?

what would it be like if we went to America? would i feel OK there or have i turned into some weirdo sudo UK person?would i even be able to communicate with my close friends or has 2 1/2 years of not being close with anyone(apart from by husband-who has a very hard job might i add) damaged me? someday i hope we can go home,i love Scotland to a certain extent but i have not fallen in love with it.my husband loves it and that means a lot to me,and i love him so it makes up for it most times.im about to get a tattoo of an uprooted thistle on my arm,its supposed to be dark.i hope it is-but not in a goth way!!! its supposed to reflect my feelings of being uprooted to here,which it what it feels like,although not what it FELT like at the time..funny how that works out!on the subject of tattoos though,i have never before walked into a shop and told the receptionist what i want,im going to get a tattoo on tuesday from someone i have never met..and im a little concerned,its kinda like an episode of LA ink! i have yet to see the design and dont have time to stop by before the appointment!

well,thats the kinda stuff thats on my mind tonight!

anyways,its Saturday night..the hubs is in France and I'm at home!